Sunday, July 11, 2010

I have Sinned!!!

Dewdrops asked me to confess my Sins rather ‘My Sins against Gender-Stereotypes’ and I was wondering whether I am really a sinner :P Then I did a backtrack and found that it was IHM who started this chain and the confessions of sinners from all over the world is overflowing in the blogosphere. Only then I realized that even I have committed many of those sins knowingly or unknowingly :) If you are still wondering what this is all about read on...

Have you ever wanted or done something your gender is not supposed to?

If you are a woman,

Have you ever wanted something that is considered ‘manly’? Like a basketball, a cell phone, a dog, a camera or a new laptop? A new car or motor bike? Ever wanted to be a pilot? A doctor or not a nurse? And the manliest want of them all – The remote!

As a kid did you enjoy playing with a bat and a ball?

There was a time when books were considered ‘manly’, women authors had to pretend to be men – would you say books are still rather manly – women should want to embroider and crochet?

If you are a man,

Have you ever wanted something that only women are supposed to want – like bags, shoes, clothes, creams, perfumes, babies, flowers? A peaceful home and a happy family? Have you ever been afraid of the dark or of insects?

As a kid did you ever want to play ‘teacher-teacher’, cooking or did you like playing with a doll? Have you ever enjoyed cooking? Bought something in pink? Loved chocolates?

Are magazines and books, TV News and blogs for men or for women?

Religion and God? Pets? Politics? Air planes and cars? Technology? – Who should want them, men or women?


So here’s a tag – Please list at least ten things you have ever wanted or done which your gender is not supposed to.

1) I love traveling and exploring new places. I am comfortable under a starlit sky in the wilderness than in the couch at home. I think I am a good traveler coz I adjust to circumstances and can live with bare minimum necessities. Also I am adventurous to an extent. I try out all the adventurous rides in theme parks, have done parasailing, undersea walking (although I am not very comfortable with water), camped in wilderness with some wild boars out for company, once slept at an open viewpoint in the middle of a thick forest supposedly inhabited by wild animals!!

2) I love to cycle. I studied in an all girls convent and we were not allowed to come in cycle to school, but thoroughly freaked out during college. On the way to college, there used to be a short stretch which was very steep and most guys used to get down at that point. But me and my friend enjoyed pedaling that stretch and surprised the guys. I could even take doubles and ride with one hand (the other hand will mostly be having an umbrella when it's raining or saving a flying dupatta which was part of our uniform). I also had a Kinetic Honda later. I know this is a very common thing that girls do now a days but I am feeling proud because 10-12 years back a girl riding a cycle/bike was not at all common in my hometown and people going in vehicles used to stop and stare at us in amusement when we pass by!

3) I don’t worry about my looks nor do I care for jewellery or clothes. I don’t go to beauty parlors nor do I get my eyebrows plucked (do I look wild?). I have no idea about the right stuff to wear and I am not a make up person at all. The only make-up stuff that I use is some moisturising creams and talcum powder and rarely bindies or sandal paste. No lipstick, no nail polish, no compacts, no ... (I don't even know the name of stuff people use everyday). Oh and I forgot no matching accessories either and I can't understand why it is mandatory that your handbag or slippers should perfectly match your dress. I always wonder how much time people spend in the morning to get that perfect matching earrings, nail polish and such stuff. And I hate wearing gold too and Mom used to dislike this nature of mine. For family weddings or get together I used to be the one with an oily face and empty neck/hands. It takes so much nagging from mom to get me decked up at least for close family weddings :)

4) Mostly I find myself a misfit among a group of giggling girls discussing the latest good-looking guy around. Instead I would prefer some intellectual discussions with a group of guys (not that guys are always having intelligent conversations, but it's much better than the girls gang)or like-minded girls. As a result I have loads of men friends as I have women friends and no, this is not in a flirtatious way. And I don't ogle at guys, but enjoy looking at pretty girls ;) It's just that I feel the words 'pretty' and 'beautiful' fits a girl better and probably I am an artist at heart and is just trying to find beauty around me :P In fact I was thinking only I have this outlook but reading the other sinners confessions about the same point I am at peace :)

5) I can never flutter my eyelashes at guys to get them do things for me and I can't stand the Barbie dolls that put up such performances and thoroughly 'use' the guys. Of course I don't pity the guys who fall for these acting as I feel they deserve it ;)

6) I am fiercely independent and try to do things all by myself how much ever I can - be it going to bank or govt offices or any such stuff. I used to be the one in the house who can fix broken gadgets, change fuse/bulb , change gas cylinder etc.I even used to climb all the way up onto the roof to check the overhead tank or change the angle of antenna(doordarshan days)

7) I have been to a police station once when my friend met with an accident and had to get some papers for the insurance. Although it was more of a necessity at that time, I didn't really think that I'm doing something that is very uncommon. Even my mom who always comes up with concerns was preoccupied coz of the accident I think. The moment I entered, everyone there stood up in surprise. It was a small village in Palghat district and I guess they were not at all used to a girl walking into the station and that too alone. Moreover I was wearing a white n white salwar kameez and they thought I was an advocate. You can't help it if you have a distinguished look right? ;)

8) I am not afraid of the dark and don't shriek and scream when I see insects, cockroaches, lizards etc. although I don't like to see them at home. But I love animals, dogs are my weakness.

9) Are books considered non-girly? That was news to me. Although I cannot be considered as a voracious reader, I love books and always carry one in my handbag. I read in the cab on the way to office n back, in trains, when I am waiting somewhere or sometimes even in office when I need a break to get my head thinking straight :P But no mushy mushy love stories for me. When in school it used to be Famous five, Secret seven, Hardy boys, Nancy drew etc for me and then jumped into classics. I never read M&B or Sidney Sheldon series.

10) I'm a good planner/organizer and love doing it to the minutest detail be it a trip or an event or any such thing. But I do get bugged when people don't adhere to it and take it in an easy go lucky way. They don't realize how much effort is gone into bringing them a good time.

Phew so I managed 10 sins but there are still many things that are manly about me - I do own a DSLR and know most of its technical aspects, I do like good cars and nice phones, and I hardly watch TV and hate the teary serials. But I am not into tree climbing or into guy’s sports or such acts mainly because of my mom who always insisted that I be a 'girly-girl' - "You are not supposed to talk loud","You shouldn't laugh louder","Girls shouldn't do that", "Girls shouldn't do this" . Thank God, if not for her nagging I can't imagine where I would have been since I managed to do so many sins already :) Btw there are some girly stuff that I absolutely love to do - I love cooking and can easily make a full fledged meal for 10-15 people all by myself, I adore babies, love dolls, teddy bears, chocolates etc. I do embroidery, crochet, I knit, I can stitch (yes I used to make my own dresses),.. the list goes on.

On a side note, is doctor considered a manly thing? I remember when I completed 10th and wanted to do PCM, almost every one whom I interacted was like PCB is for girls and if you love math so much take PCMB and not PCM. The idea is if you have got good marks and you are a girl, you should be a doctor by default. I think the logic was more like maths need brains and biology is more to do with mugging up which the girls are supposedly good at. I had to do lot of explanation to make people understand that although I am a girl, I don't like biology and is extremely bad at mugging up and memorizing and if I take it I might even flunk!

Btw this tag says you must tag twelve blogging friends or else you will be cursed to wear blue clothes/pants if you are a woman and pink shirts if you are a man – for next twelve years. I love blue and so don’t mind getting the curse. In fact for twelve years I was wearing Royal blue skirt and white shirt!!!(that was my school uniform). On second thoughts may be wearing the color again for next 12 years won't be a good idea. So here I tag

Jina, Cris, Thulasy, Usha, Sini, Shruthi and I just realized that there are not many male sinners. Is it that they never sinned or is reluctant to confess their sins? Let’s see. I am tagging Mathew, Dhanush , Sandeep , Sreejith , Roshan and Sajin

Btw there is one more task to do - All Sinners are welcome to join Sinners Against Gender Stereotypes (SAGS) on Face Book.

Small Print: You know what happens to those who don’t? Pink footwear for men and Blue beer mugs for women for twelve years

I am there already :)


Dewdrop said...

Loved reading your answers :) Way to go gal :)

Anonymous said...

Thanks Dan for the tag :-). Boy, reading your list makes me so envious! I loathe meself for being such a girly-girl now although I have hated that term with all my heart! Have got to dig out and discover the man in me! Will do!

You are full of surprises - lovely surprises :-) I feel proud as a fellow woman!

Indian Home Maker said...

On a side note, is doctor considered a manly thing?
The thing about stereotypes is, since they are created not by nature but by society, they can change with time, place and mood of the people.

Medicine was considered a girls thing in my school too. But we also had girls who took Maths and excelled in maths.

Defying or just ignoring stereotypes lets us be ourselves :)

I too love adventure rides, traveling. I would be less scared in the wilderness of animals, more of humans :)

Being fit and having fun is so SAGS!

Loved 7! Hats off to you :) It's great to look distinguished.

9 - ...this has changed. George Eliot was a woman and had to pretend to be a man to write. Reading and anything that required brains was seen as ungirlie - what changed this? Also if women were naturally unreasonable, irrational, emotional being, and if men were naturally aggressive and violent (isn't violence an emotional reaction?) - how did that change?

Nothing changed except that a large number of people, over a period of time, continued ignore these stereotypes.

Sini said...

Phew. I don't sin much. ;)

anN-series said...

Dhanya..i see so many similarities between u and me....i hate the gold jing bang, cant manage to battle my eyelashes, cant really do the 'giggly-girl' stuff, or manage makeup...thank god i now know there are others like me...i was nearly called abnormal!...

Sreejith Kumar said...

This is interesting! I know you are bold, from your posts. This reconfirms it.

Must confess, I had to work hard to complete this one. Done, and ready on my blog. :) Thanks for this!

Dhanya said...

@ Dewdrop: Thanks for tagging me actually. I loved doing this one :P

@ journalost: he he that's a compliment. Thank you :) n do discover the man faster :P

@ Indian Home Maker : Oh MY look who's here.. truely an honour :) And yes I 100% agree to you that by just ignoring stereotypes n just being ourselves we can change these stereotypes..
And you have no idea how much I enjoyed doing this.. It's giving an enormous feel good factor. No wonder it's a rage in the blogosphere now :)

@ Sini: Yeh I know baby.. The 'perfectest human being' :)

@ anN-series: he he you know that's the advantage of sharing your secrets.. You will eventually figureout that you are not unique after all :) Would you take up this tag? IT would be lovely to compare our lists :)

@ Sreejith Kumar: Thanks for being the first male to take it up :) And ofcourse I am bold else you can't survive alone right?

Thulasy Mary Elizabeth said...

Thanks for the tag.Loved reading yours as always and honestly presenting it.

Uma said...

I am not a regular reader as you would know, but when I do, you manage to plonk me right back into our wonderful Royal Blue days. How I wish we could wind back time and be in Pearlie teacher's chemistry class for instance ;) But seriously, I ache for those precious days and more so through your posts. Thanks, CM. By the way, it looks like I am almost just as much a sinner as you and mostly for the same reasons, minus the DSLR :) Cheers!

Dr Roshan Radhakrishnan said...

took up th tag...

Dhanya said...

@ Thulasy Mary Elizabeth: Thank you for taking it up :)

@ Uma : Yeh how I wish we had a time machine that takes us back to that Royal Blue days! But not chemistry how about Maths :P

@ Dr Roshan R: Thank you for being a sport :)

Unknown said...

Woahhhhhh! Loved the post!! I hate stereotypes myself, and I'm sure u've realized that by now!

We can be guy-buddies from now on ;-) We'll lech at girls in Coffee Day... Wotsay, GIRL? :)