Tuesday, November 25, 2008

How to handle men???

Oh no I'm not at all an expert here and would be the last one to give any advice on this topic. ;) If you are a girl and came here to get some dating tips I am so sorry to have disappointed you..

Anyway I started this topic for a different reason. Someone came to my blog looking for "How to handle men neighbors while staying alone". Unfortunately she got only the thief story and some comments there. But it triggered a thought process in me. I have been staying alone for 2-3 years now and before that I was 'virtually' staying alone. In the sense my cousin used to work in evening shifts and reached home only by 3-4 am when I will be deep in sleep. Same way when I get up he would have snarled under the blanket and we never got a chance to meet. We used to communicate via notes on the almirah and meet only during weekends. If either of us had to travel on weekends even that won't happen. There have been times where,in spite of staying under the same roof, we have met face-to-face after a month or two and wondered stuff like u have gained/lost weight!!!

Sorry I am digressing.. Coming back to the point, at least in the place that I am currently staying, I feel so safe and secure especially because my landlord is very protective and filter out all the unnecessary and unwanted visitors who comes in different shapes and forms like door to door marketing / beggars / fund raisers etc. Also he make sure all the visitors I get are people whom I know well. But the problem is trouble always comes from the most unexpected sources rather than from complete strangers. These 'known' devils can come in any forms/shapes like say the middle aged 'friendly' neighbor (whose children are as old as you) who offers you a 'good time' if you accompany him alone to his farm house or may be even a close relative who is trying to make a pass at you..

And workplaces are not an easy place either. While some bosses like to conduct looong(3-5 hrs) one-to-one meetings every single day on the same subject for months together there are some others who always have a clarification just when you are about to leave and this will go on for hours. And once you somehow get out of the meeting, they will be too 'concerned' to offer a lift home. Then there are others who need a status update every hour and their proximity will be such that you will start doubting whether they have some hearing problem. I have also come across a cheapo boss who hacked into one of his subordinates machine and accessed all the private data and photos. And many a times we girls share our solos and girls only group snaps only within the girl's gang. And this guy intelligently accessed other girl's file shares from this machine and got access to those photos!! Problem here is most probably the targets will be the fresher/less experienced girls who won't have the courage to react to a person in power.

And then the roadside cameos. A friend has explained how she handled one here and this is just one sample. Have faced situations where people in cars/bikes offers you a lift and they gets so angry if you ignore them and just walk off. One of my friend was once dragged to a car that too in a busy street just in front of the office. Luckily she was saved by some passers by. Now if you thought it's only people using public transport who have this problem you are mistaken. If a girl is riding a vehicle, there are people who tries their best to throw them off balance or create a dent/scratch in the car and then they will blame the girl for improper driving. Once Me and a friend was coming back from Nagarhole and there was an Omni following us for almost an hour in the Mysore-Bangalore stretch. Although it was a four lane and they could have easily overtaken us, all the time they were behind us blinking the headlight. How much ever we slowed down for them to go in front they were coming in the side trying to be too close. It was just too irritating..

So the question here is how to handle these men?

1) It's easier to tackle the first category of known devils as they are mostly cowards just trying their luck on any random person. You don't even have to waste your words as just a sharp look will make then run for cover and they won't dare to show their face again.
2) Workplaces is more tougher coz it is difficult to ignore/avoid contact with your teammates/superiors whatever the case may be. But no point in suffering silently like most people tend to do. Instead it's better to react openly and if it still doesn't end there, don't hesitate to complain to higher officials/HR.
3) For me the absolute strangers are more difficult because we have no idea whether they are maniacs or mentally retarded or demeans. So as much as possible I try to get out of that situation/place. But yeh that's not a solution. I admire Sini's courage to react and confront them.

Whatever I described here are just a few samples that came to mind as I sat down to wrote this. I am sure every single girl will have one or other such similar stories to tell with varying severity. May be I should ask you how you handle/have handled such situations? The floor is all yours..

PS: Don't mistake that all men are like this. I have so many good male friends who are very understanding and supportive. But the problem is although the above said species are a minority(?), it really makes the girl very insecure and depressed..